dreamybean:

starfleetinginterest:

what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent

image

(via imjustavagabond)

illkim:

Entire Class: *forgets to do homework*

Teacher: Well I guess I won’t count it

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(Source: illkim, via butwealwayscameback)

dampsandwich:

i blog because i didnt get enough attention as a child

(via youwillunderstand)

evabadon:

"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids

(via youwillunderstand)

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via farahway)